Car accident

Three years ago today I was involved in a car accident that almost took my life. I was driving on I-15 toward the airport to catch a plane home to visit my family and see a cubs game. I don't remember any part of the accident but witnesses told police I was cut off from my left side. To avoid an accident, I merged to the lane to my right only to be rear ended by a semi truck.

poor little Miko

When the hospital discovered who I was, they called my mom and told her to get to Utah as fast as she could - I wasn't in very good condition. My brain was bruised and bleeding. If it didn't stop soon, they were going to have to cut my skull open to give my brain room to continue swelling. Luckily, that didn't have to happen.

I spent a few days in the ICU and then about a week in another floor of the hospital trying to recover before I was discharged to the hospital in Provo to begin a few weeks of rehab.

It's been three years and I still haven't had the courage to take the pictures of the accident off my computer. I keep them there as a reminder. So I don't forget. As I look back on this experience, I realize how truly lucky and blessed I was. Not a lot of people recover as quickly or as well as I did. I have a good family friend currently going through a very similar situation to what I had. She is making remarkable progress but is still in the hospital trying to learn, grow and recover from her brain injury. The Lord is truly on her side in helping her take large steps of improvement.

I don't remember most (or any) of my time in the hospitals but I do remember one doctor appointment I had towards the end of my time there when the doctor said he didn't know why I was healing so fast. And three years later, I still don't know why my time in the hospital was so short.

Ironically, I look back and am actually grateful for this experience. While I did lose my precious car, Miko, I'm glad that the lord trusted me enough to have this trial. There was so much that I learned in the hospital and as I went home to recover. In no particular order, here's what I learned from this trial:

• I learned how many people really loved and cared about me and my family. There were people all over the nation who were praying and fasting for me and my family. How grateful I am for their love and concern. Without those prayers and constant thoughts and well-wishes, I don't think I would be where I am.
• I learned how much my family truly, honestly cares about me. My mom flew out to Utah as soon as she heard. She found a plane coming to Utah that night, and she made sure that she was on it. My dad came out early the next morning. When Todd found out, he had just landed in Dallas, returning from a business trip. As he heard the news of my situation, he turned around without even leaving the airport (or picking up his bag from the baggage claim), bought a ticket to come to Utah and flew here with nothing but the clothes on his back. Clark and Alicia, my family living here in Utah, were at the hospital as often as their schedules would allow. Even with me yelling, screaming, and telling Clark that he didn't know what he was talking about when it came to medicine (I don't remember any of this), they still came to support me. And Steven was there, too. He came out with my dad one of the times my dad flew out. I don't remember how many times my dad came out, but Steven was right by his side during one those trips.
• I learned how much Lewis, my boyfriend of 10 days at that point, cared about me. He drove to the hospital almost every day. Even though it was an hour a way from him and he was still in school and working part time. And even though he wasn't sure if I'd even remember who he was. But he was there through it all. Apparently, one time he came and I asked him for a kiss before he left. And according to my mom, I was always in a better mood when Lewis either called or stopped by.
• I learned once again of the power of the atonement. As I went through all the pain of trying to recover, I had to keep reminding myself that Christ had already felt all of this. He had suffered for this accident. He knew what my constant headaches felt like. He knew of my inability and pain to sit up on my own. He knew of the burden I felt to my friends and family as I went home and tried to live a normal life again. He had felt it all. And I knew I could rely on Him to get my through this trial.
• I learned, also, of the power of fasting and prayer. There were hundreds (maybe) of people, like I already mentioned, who were praying and fasting for me. God heard and answered those prayers. He helped heal me quickly than I probably deserved. But those prayers were answered and I was given another opportunity to enjoy and (hopefully) appreciate life.

There were many times after the accident (and still now) that I wonder: 

why?

Why did this have to happen? And why did it have to happen to me. When I drive on the freeway, I'm still afraid to drive next to semi trucks. I had constant headaches everyday for about a year. My short-term memory had been affected and it was affecting my ability to do well in school. So why did this have to happen?

I still don't think I know why this happened. I don't know what it's ultimate purpose was. But I hope that I remember those large lessons that truly made an impact in my life: that I'm loved beyond anything I can imagine. That the atonement, prayer, and fasting are real. Heavenly Father and Christ are truly on our side and looking out for us, no matter what situation we're in. And even if I hadn't healed as fast or as well, I know that they would still have been on my side, cheering for me to continue to get better.

And this life is something that we should never take for granted. We've been blessed more than we know. There's beauty all around us, beauty that we should always be aware of. There's beauty in life, love, nature, laughter. And even beauty in the trials that we face. For it's truly in those trials, when we reach for our Savior's hand, that the veil is as thin as it could be. And we can feel the love of our Heavenly Father and Savior. And we can feel their arms around us.

So while I'm still facing the side-effects of this trial, I'm grateful that it happened. I hope to see the answer to the "WHY" as my life continues. But maybe the answer is just so I would learn those lessons. And each year, I look back and remember, and hopefully continue to learn.

with my dad

with Toby, the dog they sent in to help with emotional stability of the patients in ICU

with Lewis

my mom, stealing my bed. there with me every day for weeks

clark, alicia and grandma

lewis, helping me with rehab